


Golden Child, Let Your Horses Run Wild

by TheBeautifulLove



Category: K-pop, NCT (Band)
Genre: A lot of mental health issues shown throughout and mentioned so be warned, Age Difference, Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Daydreaming, M/M, Maybe - Freeform, Mental Health Issues, Unrequited Love, gets more angsty as it goes on but also ends well??, kind of, not too clear
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-04
Updated: 2019-11-04
Packaged: 2021-01-23 04:16:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,588
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21314032
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheBeautifulLove/pseuds/TheBeautifulLove
Summary: "Maladaptive daydreaming, also known as excessive daydreaming, is a disordered form of dissociative absorption, associated with vivid and excessive fantasy activity that often involves elaborate and fanciful scenarios."In reality he’s bound by his fears but in his mind... in his mind he’s so free.
Relationships: Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Mark Lee
Comments: 4
Kudos: 29





	Golden Child, Let Your Horses Run Wild

**Author's Note:**

> Hi again! In my quest to finish all the   
Markhyuck works I started writing and never posted,  
this is another one I managed to finish.   
Read it with open mind, this work is very different from what   
I've ever written before but hopefully it's good.
> 
> Title is from a song: "Say Lau Lau - Golden Child"  
I recommend you give it a listen, as this work was partly inspired by it.   
Thanks for kudos and comments in advance, I love them so much  
and thank you for all the praise and love you showered me with on my previous work :)  
Enjoy! x

There is that handsome customer again, sitting at the back of the café by the window, in his usual blue armchair and Donghyuck once again, can’t seem to look away.

_‘It was delicious.’ A smooth voice startles the young barista. He turns around and with wide eyes takes in the sight of the boy, standing there with an empty cup in his hands._

_‘Could I possibly have one more, please?’_

_Donghyuck turns fully and smiles softly at the other. His voice is confident when he says:_

_‘Two large lattes could be a bit much in a single day...’ The way the spark disappears from the customer’s eyes and the corners of his lips turn down, makes his heart clench painfully in his chest. ‘How about a hot chocolate instead?’ He desperately tries to make the other smile again._

_‘Actually, that sounds even better.’ There is that smile. Donghyuck has succeeded._

_Before he turns around again to start making the drink, he nods excitedly. ‘Perfect.’_

_‘Just like you.’_

_He looks over his shoulder again with a slight delay caused by the initial surprise and the boy is looking at him like he’s the only person in the entire world. The barista can’t help but feel sudden warmth that will soon be visible on his cheeks. He turns back to his work to hide the rosy blush, bites his lip to stop smiling as he prepares the drink._

_His practiced hands shake a little nevertheless as he stirs in the chocolate powder with the hot milk. He pours a little more love and care into it than he usually does, then sets it down on the marble counter top separating him from the handsome brunette._

_Donghyuck places a saucer underneath the grey cup and slides it carefully closer to the other. ‘Here you are, sir.’_

_The other is still looking at him just like before and Donghyuck tries to act calm and relaxed even though his heart is anything but calm. To busy himself, he types the order into the till in front of him and asks for the due payment._

_Normally, he would do that first, then only after he receives the money, he would make the order. That’s what he’s supposed to do; the first day of training as a barista replays somewhere in the back of his head but this boy standing there, few meters away is making him forget the very basics, he thought were set in stone._

_‘Thank you.’ Donghyuck risks a longer glance at his face, the sun is shining brightly behind him like this is a stage, like he’s in the spotlight but the barista thinks that even without that light he would always draw in his eyes. ‘Really, thank you. Not just for the drinks but for your attention and care. I needed that today.’_

_His throat is dry and he swallows instinctively, blinks a few times then finally opens his mouth._

_‘Glad I could help.’ He smiles lightly, holding the piercing gaze for as long as he thinks he’s allowed to before he falls in too deep, so deep there will be no way to escape._

_The boy finally lifts his drink carefully with both of his pretty hands, long slender fingers wrapping around the handle of the cup and supporting the saucer from underneath. He slowly makes his way to his usual spot, the blue armchair waiting for him patiently, still vacant._

_He stares after the stranger for a moment longer before a new customer that appears out of nowhere in front of his face, startles him back into reality._

‘How much is a large flat white?’ He stares at the woman for an elongated second before his mind switches to autopilot, work-mode activated.

‘It’s 7,000 won, madam.’ She nods, calculates it in her head, mouth opening a little, eyes looking away for a moment to some random spot of the small café.

She makes a decision. ‘I’ll have that and a bottle of still water, please.’

Donghyuck’s fingers find and press the right buttons in no time, he accepts the payment, makes the coffee and gets the water from the fridge to his left. He follows the set pattern. The woman smiles, satisfied, a tray with the purchased goods in her hands.

As soon as she leaves, there is another customer. The barista glances around and it seems that out of seemingly nowhere, a lot of people appeared in the shop and a huge queue has formed, all waiting for Donghyuck to provide them with their overpriced coffees and the occasional croissant or whatever else they think they deserve after a whole day of hard labour, consisting mainly of sitting by a desk, staring at a computer.

He has to be fast and efficient, that’s what he’s paid for, so his eyes stay glued to the faces in front of him. Red, strained eyes looking back at him, silently begging for the coffee that will keep them alive, more than their words could ever beg.

When sometime later all the people finally disappear and the place is almost empty again, when the ambient noise of the customers staying in the house, chatting, is the only thing heard, Donghyuck finally looks to the spot by the window again. However, the sun is setting now, barely a low glow creeping inside the building and the temporary resident of the large dark blue armchair is now gone.

The seat is empty, Donghyuck’s heart hollows a little too at the sight. The only sign that there was someone sitting there in the first place is the empty grey cup on top of the round wooden table.

Since there are no customers that need his attention, Donghyuck walks over to the table to collect the dirty cup as per his duty which he usually dreads but this time he doesn’t mind.

With something almost like curiosity, he picks up the object carefully and inspects it for two seconds, wondering if there will be something special about this one that sets it apart from the hundreds of others he collected from the tables before.

The person that drunk from the cup seemed extraordinary in Donghyuck’s mind, different, special somehow but the cup is just like any other, a completely regular, dirty drinking vessel. The usual, dried remains of the milk foam around the inside of it and about half a sip of a cold latte still at the bottom.

No sign anywhere of the hot chocolate Donghyuck crafted so carefully in his mind, daydreaming while staring at the back of the handsome boy’s head.

‘You okay, kid?’ He looks up at his manager, Seungcheol, and for a second the much older boy seems like the closest person he has on this earth, only for a second later to seem like a complete stranger again.

He stops in his walk and thinks about the answer to the question for a moment, looks into the shiny, big eyes of the other boy and suddenly feels so out of place, wonders what he’s actually doing here.

Why is he a barista in a café in the middle of busy Seoul, when all his life he’s been dreaming of being an artist? He’s always wanted to sing, to act or maybe even both at once, somewhere in Europe or perhaps North America...

‘I’m fine, hyung. It’s just been a weird day.’ He tries to smile but only manages to press his lips into a thin line which is something that could fool someone like Seungcheol for being a small, genuine smile.

The elder nods sympathetically, perhaps he believes the white lie and goes back to doing some paperwork, ever so much heavy burden on his wide, capable shoulders.

***

When Donghyuck gets back home that evening, he finds two suitcases by the door. There is a hint of the perfume he knows so well in the air; it hits his nose with a new power now that it’s been absent for a few weeks. The smell of kimchi jjigae follows the cheap, overly sweet, perfectly girly perfume and it’s by far a better smell.

He drops the keys into the usual wooden bowl by the counter. They jingle and join the set of keys already in there. His sister comes to the room to great him.

‘Donghyuck! I missed you.’ She rushes to hug him, her favourite red wine swinging dangerously close to the edge of the glass in her right hand. He lets himself be hugged and reciprocates, placing one hand on her small back and closes his eyes briefly. He’s missed her, even with all her flaws and sudden mood swings and her usual weekend drunkenness.

She’s still family, the only one he has, the one who stayed to look after him when mum passed away. The death of their mother affected her so much, it often seemed like he was looking after her more than she was after him.

‘How was the trip, noona?’ He asks when they part away. She’s beaming at him, pupils dilated. Her hair is lighter and shorter than he remembers it being, before she left to see her new boyfriend she met online, in Busan.

‘Oh, it was amazing! Sea, sun, good food, wine...’ she lists off on her fingers. ‘Taemin is amazing, so handsome in real life, I’m so lucky to have him. Amazing kisser and other things too, if you know what I mean.’ She winks, smacks his shoulder and giggles, then clears her throat. ‘No, you don’t know what I mean, you’re too young.’ She gets serious and Donghyuck rolls his eyes at her attempt to be a responsible adult and an exemplary older sister. ‘He’s a great guy, I had an amazing time, it’s just a shame he lives so far away.’

They move to sit at the couch, Donghyuck holding Yuna’s arm just in case, in support. ‘You should have stayed longer, I’m seventeen, I can take care of myself, I’ve been doing fine by myself when you were away, even though I’ve missed you.’ She smiles at him, cocking her head to the side like she always does when she’s touched. ‘You deserve to start living your independent life, it’s your time, noona.’

Alcohol, emotions and her mild bipolar disorder all mix at once, tears start to well up in her brown eyes. She pulls him close, luckily the glass of wine is on the coffee table beside them now, and he sighs tiredly in her arms.

‘And leave my little brother all alone? No way. I promised you I’ll be here, the two of us until the end of the world, right?’

The sincerity of her words, the warmth of her hug in the coldness of the apartment, her imperfections and utmost efforts to stick to her own promise, make him want to cry too.

Before they both turn to a sobbing mess, he moves away and smiles at her sleepy, serene expression. ‘Let’s get you to bed, noona. You must be tired from the journey.’

She doesn’t have the energy to argue, lets Donghyuck help her to her bedroom. She flops onto the bed, assuring him that she will only rest a little and then go to have a shower and change into her pyjamas. He nods with a patient smile, knowing all too well that that won’t happen.

He sits on the side of the bed for a moment, waiting until she falls asleep then gets up and gets a blanket to cover her, then another just to make sure she’s warm enough during the night; it’s late October now, it’s getting colder every day.

On the way out of her room, Donghyuck notices a small notebook he’s never seen his sister possess before, laying on the floor. Without much thought he picks it up to put it on her desk but a few pictures fall out from the inside and spill on the red carpet, so he picks them up.

He looks at each one, despite thinking that perhaps he shouldn’t. There is Taemin and his sister smiling at the Busan train station, perhaps the first picture they ever took together. The other two pictures are showing her at different famous places in the Southern Korean city. Then there is a photo of her and Donghyuck from when they were little. It’s old and faded, stands out from the rest. He smiles at their young, cute faces in the photo.

He looks through the pages of the notebook in search of other photos but there are none, he’s about to close it and put it away when something catches his eyes.

“...I wish for him to be happy, to pursue his dreams but I’m the one keeping him from achieving them, keeping him and myself locked in a cage full of hurtful memories, in a family house that used to be a safe haven, full of people, full of love... I’m selfish, thinking I’m protecting him from a dangerous world, selfish, thinking that this is what mum would want me to do. He should go to university, study, travel, make friends, have a girlfriend...’

He stops at that. The last word echoes in his mind and tightens his throat, it feels like someone’s strangling him. He looks at the deeply asleep form of his sister on her double bed, under all the blankets.

He didn’t know Yuna kept a diary, he didn’t know she so seriously thought about their lives, about him; didn’t suspect she could be blaming herself for something. She always seemed so carefree, easily swayed by alcohol and pleasures of life but also down to earth and strict when needed, putting on a mask of a guardian, a leader.

_‘Noona.’ Donghyuck shakes her shoulder with tears in his eyes. He does it again and again when she doesn’t seem to wake. ‘Noona, please, wake up. I have to tell you something. Please...’_

_She finally stirs and emerges from her slumber, blinks her eyes at him, mascara smudged on her right cheek from earlier crying and falling asleep with the face buried into the white pillow._

_‘Hyuck? Are you okay? What’s wrong?’ She’s worried and he starts to regret waking her up but it’s too late for any doubts, it’s now or never._

_He takes a deep, shaky breath. ‘I... I have to tell you something. I can’t hide it anymore; I need to let it out before I suffocate. Please, listen to me...’_

_She sits and holds his hand in both of hers. ‘What is it?’_

_‘I saw what you wrote in your diary, I’m sorry for reading it but I did and-’ he’s aware how shaky his voice sounds, how rushed and fuelled by emotions but he needs to spit it out. ‘I don’t want a girlfriend. I’m sorry, I know you want the best for me but I won’t have one.’ He doesn’t meet her eyes when he confesses._

_‘Hyuck, you don’t need to have a girlfriend, I was just writing something I supposed you wanted to have, someone I supposed you wanted to be but it’s fine if you don’t want one right now, you have time.’_

_‘No, you don’t understand.’ He interrupts her. ‘I won’t ever have one. I don’t like girls, I’m sorry... They’re beautiful and amazing but I’m not attracted to them, I’m so sorry.’ He breaks down sobbing, shaking, his anxiety that he supresses every single day, hides deep down, somewhere nobody can reach, now in the open._

_It’s silent for a moment, the only sound in the room is Donghyuck’s sobs he tries hard to control. Millions of thoughts go through his head. Did he just manage to push the only person he truly has in this world, away? Did he just throw everything into the bin like meaningless trash without thinking twice?_

_His sister squeezes his hand a little tighter and he glances up at her. Her expression seems faraway, lost, calculating. He holds his breath as she opens her mouth to speak. ‘It’s okay. Cry it out, let it all out.’ He looks at her blurry face, through the tears he tries to blink away._

_‘Listen to me carefully now okay?’ He nods. ‘When the time is right, when you’re ready, you will meet the boy you’ve been waiting all your life for, the one who is good for you and who will take a better care of you than I ever could. Someone who will love you, make you so happy just like you deserve to be, okay?’ In his shock, his brain processing the words one at a time, with a slight delay, his mind suddenly a Windows XP. He can only nod. ‘He will love you so fucking much, you hear me?’_

_‘Y-yes.’ He wipes the tears from his eyes, takes a deep breath in. ‘He’ll love me and I’ll love him back. We’ll be so fucking happy. We’ll visit you and Taemin in Busan.’ He stares into her eyes and she beams at him._

_‘Damn right you will!’_

_He exhales slowly, anxiety leaving his soul and it feels so much lighter like a warrior finally able to throw off the heavy armour after a victorious fight._

Donghyuck wakes from his daze and looks at where his sister is still sleeping peacefully. ‘Good night.’ He whispers into the silence, finally places the small notebook still in his hands on the desk before switching the light off. The room drowns in darkness.

He drags his tired, aching legs down the corridor to the kitchen. On the way there, a burnt smell hits his nose and his eyes widen, suddenly running to the kitchen with newfound energy. He rushes to switch off the stove on top of which is a pot of what 30 minutes ago was kimchi jjigae.

He grabs the handle of the pot and carries it to the sink, filling all the way to the top with cold water.

He sighs. His stomach has the audacity to still growl in hunger at the sight of the disaster in the sink and Donghyuck decides he just wants this day to end.

***

At work he overhears his colleagues discuss how handsome the chef working here is. Out of boredom, he stops and joins their little circle, listening passively more than contributing anything.

‘He’s literally sex on legs.’ Jeno muses.

Mina nods in agreement. ‘And he doesn’t even realise it. He gets so shy when you tell him a compliment too.’ She smiles, holding her cheeks with both hands in happiness. ‘He looks at you with those big Bambi eyes and it’s so adorable.’

They turn to Donghyuck. ‘What do you think? I think he kind of likes you, actually. He always asks you to try the food he makes.’ Jeno raises a brow with a teasing smile, his eyes almost disappearing completely behind his famous eye crescents.

The barista sighs. ‘He asks because he knows cooking is one of my hobbies. And... he’s handsome, objectively, but he’s not my type.’ He answers honestly and as soon as it leaves his mouth protests break out.

‘Are you joking? Taeyong is everyone’s type!’

Seungcheol interrupts them then, asking to go back to work and stop chatting. Everyone moves to their positions, gossiping mouths closing under the gaze of the manager.

He’s glad the conversation is over. It’s kind of ridiculous to him how some people think there really is a certain standard of beauty. His mind fills with images of the beautiful stranger, the unofficial owner of the blue armchair, the black-haired prince, thin lips and cute small teeth, soft, ever polite words leaving those lips.

Donghyuck glances around the shop every now and then, just in case he manged to sneak in without the barista noticing. He’s hoping to see him; his heart reacts even at the very thought of seeing him again.

When the clock shows three o’clock in the afternoon, when his shift is over, he sighs and deals with the fact that today is not the day. Today, his eyes won’t be blessed with the miraculous sight, his ears won’t be blessed with the auditory velvet of his voice.

If those fictional universes, where the first words your soulmate says to you appearing on your wrist, were real, Donghyuck would be proud to walk around town with “Hi, one large oat milk latte, not too hot, please, if that’s okay” permanently tattooed on his body.

Maybe it’s silly to believe a person you don’t really even know anything about is your soulmate but Donghyuck trusts his feelings.

When he saw the other boy, for the first time in his life, it felt like the earth started to spin backwards, it felt like he stopped existing, he couldn’t think of anything or feel anything and then everything started to rush back into life after its momentary death. It felt like nothingness and monochrome one second only to burst with fullness and colour a second later.

He wanted to blindly give him everything, be everything for him, know everything about the stranger. The urge was almost painful. The pull was almost magnetic. Donghyuck had no choice but believe there was something, some sort of plan behind their worlds colliding, even like this, with such low impact; believe that it was not all a coincidence.

Or he was simply going insane. But it felt too good to be something so bad.

Walking home; the routine, the tiredness, the city lights, the old man sitting on a bench in front of his house reading a book. Is his life going to look like this until the end? How can he break the cycle, make a change when his heart panics at the mere thought? The routine, the predictability of everyday is what’s saving him, keeps his anxiety in check.

The comfort that there will always be those city lights, that the old man will always be there, reading his book.

So comforting. Being eternally stuck in this same place.

***

It’s a grey, sad day. Heavy clouds hang up in the sky; it feels like rain could come any second but it’s already nearly six in the evening and still nothing. It’s windy though, people hide in the café and sit there for hours. Donghyuck is not surprised – this weather is perfect for a hot drink and sitting in a comfy chair.

He’s finishing his shift soon too, so it’ll probably be what he’ll do at home when he’s back from work.

Yet at the very moment, it happens.

Why is he wearing a suit? A suit out of all the possible clothing in the world, a fancy suit too. He never wore anything like this before and it confuses the barista left staring after him when the stranger goes up to order his drink to one of his colleagues. His hair is a bit more tidy than usual too, and it’s fascinating.

Could he possibly be an office worker?

Donghyuck never imagined him to be that and he imagined a lot. A lot of scenarios but in none of them the perfect stranger was ever an office person. Yet it does suit him. Strangely, maybe because Donghyuck’s eyes are just so blinded by all the emotions the other boy evokes in him that he could wear anything and he would still be just as handsome.

How is it even possible for someone to be like that? He can overhear the usual order and he’s so jealous the boy went up to Yuta to make his order. Don’t get him wrong, he thinks Yuta is lovely but he’s new on the coffee, fresh after training and the younger believes he makes much better coffee than the Japanese. And the handsome brunette deserves the best of the best.

Maybe he’s noticed how Donghyuck is always staring at him? Maybe he’s freaked out by it? What if he’s trying to avoid him?

As if Donghyuck is screaming all those questions out loud, the boy meets his eyes on the way to his table with the usual coffee in his hands and... he smiles. He smiles at Donghyuck.

His smile is like sun after rain, it lights up the room even when outside it keeps getting darker and darker with clouds becoming heavier and heavier in the sky.

Instinctively, Donghyuck smiles back, the brightest he can, his body is reacting on its own, standing on tiptoes behind the counter and leaning forward slightly with his palms pressed to the marble top. As if he could get closer; reach out somehow to him. His heart is racing and then he sighs, the adrenaline still pumping in his ears when he sees his favourite customer sit in his usual seat.

It’s like it’s becoming another part of his routine. Seeing a particular person in a particular spot in the café. It makes him feel at peace, makes him want to sing, dance, keeps him calm and yet, at the same time steers his mind into overdrive...

_‘Donghyuck, I have the biggest favour to ask of you.’ Seungcheol runs up to him from the back of house, a little out of breath and with a hand on his heart._

_It’s about an hour before closing and it’s only the two of them left since the place is usually not very busy at all this late in the evening._

_‘Are you okay, hyung?’ He asks with a frown on his face, putting down the cloth he was using to wipe the top of the coffee machine._

_The elder boy runs a hand through his black, thick hair. ‘I know a manager is supposed to close the store but I have an emergency at home and it cannot wait. I would normally call Johnny but he literally flew to Chicago to visit his family this morning...’ The distress shows clearly on his features._

_‘I...’ Donghyuck begins, unsure but the other places his hand on his shoulder._

_‘Please, I beg you. You can close half an hour earlier, just apologize to the customers, give them a free coffee voucher... I don’t know, just please do this for me. You’ve been here for a long time, you know how to close everything for the night, and if you’re not sure just call me.’_

_The younger sighs heavily. ‘Okay, but what if I do something wrong? What if I forget to switch something off or...?’_

_Seungcheol shakes his head. ‘I understand but don’t worry, nothing bad will happen if you forget something. You won’t be blamed for anything, I promise.’_

_Seungcheol looks at him with such trust, desperation and expectations in his big dark eyes that he feels like he can’t refuse._

_Before he realises what exactly he’s agreeing to, ‘Okay.’ leaves lips and it sounds weak and quiet but it’s enough for the other who envelops him in a tight hug._

_Donghyuck smiles. He likes feeling helpful, useful. He likes doing something nice for other people. Even when they never really do anything for him in return._

_‘Go, Seungcheol hyung. Be careful and drive safely.’ He’s already taking his black apron off._

_The manager gives him a set of keys and key cards. ‘Close everything and bring the keys for your next shift, I have a spare set so I’ll open the shop tomorrow morning.’ There is relief and seriousness in his voice even when his mind is already clearly drifting to some other, more important thoughts._

_Two minutes later he’s left there, finally realising he’s completely on his own, in a building worth probably much more money than he’ll ever make in his entire life, set of heavy keys on the counter in front of him and a much heavier weight of responsibility on his shoulders._

_He looks around the room. There are only few people left in the café but his anxiety kicks in the moment he looks at their faces._

_Two girls chatting happily over long finished cups of black americano, a man still on his phone in the corner, the flat white probably already completely cold and... the blue armchair still occupied by its unofficial owner, still typing something on his fancy phone, black tie now loosened a tad bit, oat milk latte nearly finished._

_He’s been here over an hour now and Donghyuck has enjoyed every one of the sneaky glances he stole in the stranger’s direction. He’s enjoyed the look of concentration on the other’s face, he’s enjoyed the occasional frown, the occasional lip bite. Yes, he definitely has enjoyed the latter._

_Eight o’clock strikes and the barista’s heart freezes. They usually close at eight-thirty but Seungcheol told him to close earlier since he has to clean, tidy and close everything himself._

_He takes a deep breath and approaches the girls first. He clears his throat and apologizes and this makes them turn their attention to him._

_‘I’m so sorry but we have to close a bit earlier today. I’m really sorry for that.’ His voice is only slightly nervous, doesn’t show the real turmoil in his socially anxious mind._

_They seem a bit sad and disappointed but cheer up slightly when he hands them the vouchers for free coffee of their choice._

_The man that’s still somehow talking on his phone, only puts the device down for a second to understand what Donghyuck is telling him before nodding shortly and getting up, leaving the café in rushed steps, without even looking down at the small card in the younger’s hand._

_When he turns around to the last customer with a loud beating heart, he finds him already standing up and looking expectantly at Donghyuck._

_‘I’m really sorry but-’_

_‘But you have to close earlier today. Yes, I heard you.’_

_Donghyuck can only nod urgently, the anxiety of being this close to the other, the stress of realising they’re the only two left in the shop, the chaos in his mind remembering all the things he has to do before he can leave today._

_He’s expecting the elder to leave but they still stand there, a weird tension building in the air around them._

_‘Do you need any help? You’re the only one left... Shouldn’t there be someone with you here?’ His eyebrows scrunch up in confusion, his pretty, dark eyebrows and Donghyuck looks around, not that he’s expecting to see anyone there._

_He sighs. ‘The manager had to leave urgently, hence why I was told to close early.’ The barista doesn’t know why they’re still standing there, talking pointlessly when there is so much to do but the conversation calms him down somehow._

_It’s weirdly nice that a complete stranger takes an interest in him, his wellbeing, offers help._

_‘I used to work in a coffee shop when I was younger. I’m pretty sure I still remember most things, I could help.’ Their eyes meet in the dim lighting of the evening. Donghyuck knows he should refuse the help for many reasons. Firstly, it’s polite to do so and secondly, he’s not sure but he reckons that letting someone who is not a member of staff anywhere behind the counter is breaking some serious company rules._

_Donghyuck finds himself smiling and nodding before he even thinks about it too much. The man who occupies his mind, draws his eyes and distracts him from work almost every day is offering help, offering spending time with him without wanting anything in return..._

_Why should he say no?_

_‘I would love the help, if you don’t mind.’_

_The stranger shakes off his black coat and places it on the back of his usual armchair. He rolls up the sleeves of his fancy white shirt and gives Donghyuck a warm, yet reserved smile. ‘Where do we begin?’_

_Time flies fast when there is a lot to do. Donghyuck cleans and closes the coffee machines, records any food waste in the records, throws away all rubbish, runs around the shop, trying to figure out where all the light switches are. Every now and then he gives small jobs to the other boy and every now and then, he steals glances in the other’s direction._

_He discreetly watches him spray the glass countertops with glass cleaner and wipe them quickly and efficiently with blue roll. The concentration on his face, it’s the same expression as earlier when he was typing on his phone. Eyes focused, mouth slightly open._

_It’s stirring those weird feelings buried deep in Donghyuck’s heart again; those feelings spread to the rest of his body like wildfire. It’s like they’re urging him to do something, to act on it, fingers tingling to touch. It’s unlike anything he’s felt before._

_They’re working in silence but it doesn’t feel even the tiniest bit awkward. There is no need for the younger to fill the quiet with any unnecessary words or sounds. Although he has some questions, he would love to hear the answer to._

_Like... what is the handsome stranger’s name? That’s the one he would love to find out the most, right now._

‘Donghyuck?’ He hears a voice that sounds like it’s coming from a long distance away, from another dimension. But how does the man know his name? ‘Donghyuck!’

He turns around so abruptly, his neck makes a weird clicking sound, it hurts a little. Donghyuck finds himself staring into a pair of dark eyes but it’s not the eyes he was just staring at in his head, in his daydream.

‘Yes, hyung?’

Seungcheol laughs at him. ‘You were miles away again.’ He shakes his head, probably giving up on his employee, looking back to his phone. ‘Your shift ended ten minutes ago. You want to go home or something, kid? If not, you’re always welcome to stand there and fantasise about God-knows-what. That’s fine with me too.’

Only then the barista looks at the clock on the wall and true to the manager’s words, it’s ten past six; the café is almost deserted. Rain is pouring outside and the blue armchair by the window is empty.

Donghyuck blinks lazily at the elder boy for a few seconds before he finally decides to move. ‘Thanks, Seungcheol-hyung. I will see you tomorrow.’

‘Take care in this weather, kid.’

With those last words of advice, he walks out the door into the rainstorm.

***

He doesn’t have an umbrella but the bus stop is just few meters away, so he initially thinks he should be okay. Yet when he gets there, it’s starting to pour down so heavily, barely anything can be seen in the distance and the bus is not coming after five, ten or even fifteen minutes.

The cars are stuck in traffic and there are almost no people walking on the streets, everyone hiding in shops or under some other types of roof. The bus stop is crowded but everything seems frozen; the rain is suspending a busy city in a long pause.

It seems like the bus won’t come for a long while and Donghyuck just wants to go home. He decides to just go. Maybe it’s stupid, the people throw him curious looks when he steps into the heavy rain but he thinks about what’s the worst that could happen. He gets a cold? Even better, he can take some days off sick from work.

Within seconds he’s soaked but he keeps on stubbornly walking. Clothes are sticking uncomfortably to his body and it’s cold and wet; his shoes are heavy, making squeaky noises with every step, barely heard amongst the sound of the rain.

When water starts to flow down his face like a waterfall and it becomes impossible to even keep his eyes open when they sting and hurt, the boy realises he might have made a huge mistake.

Unable to even see where he’s going, breathing heavily and trembling from the cold, he gives up.

Donghyuck walks under the nearest roof he can see, which happens to be the entrance to some tall grey building. There are numbers on the side of the wall and a place to touch a key card to enter the building but obviously he doesn’t have one. This must be some office, there is even a logo but it’s unfamiliar to Donghyuck’s young, tired eyes.

So, he decides to sit by the door in the dry corner until the rain stops, hoping nobody bothers him and by some miracle he doesn’t get hypothermia.

He watches the streets for a minute until he feels so sleepy, he rests his head on the wall behind him and closes exhausted eyes. Donghyuck releases a deep breath and it feels a bit better but he wishes so badly he could be somewhere else right now, somewhere dry and warm. Like his bed or... He can’t finish his thought because a voice startles him then.

‘Umm... are you okay? Can I help you with something?’

Donghyuck thinks he’s screwed when he looks up to see a middle-aged man in a black suit walking out the building, looking down at him with scrunched brows.

‘I... I’m sorry, I was walking home but because of the rain I got soaked and I couldn’t see anything and I just sat here, hoping it stops soon so I can go home.’ He knows he sounds desperate but he doesn’t care anymore, it’s just a really bad day.

He half expects the man to say something like, “you can’t sit here or you need to move away or I understand but you can’t be here like this” but strangely the man is soon crouching down to his level and looking with worry in his brown eyes.

‘You shouldn’t stay here.’ He begins and Donghyuck thinks that maybe it wasn’t worry in his eyes, maybe he was wrong but the man continues after a short pause. ‘I have important meeting to get to but my colleague is finishing his work in about half an hour, I’m sure he wouldn’t mind giving you a lift home.’

Donghyuck hesitates. As nice as that sounds, this is a complete stranger and the younger doesn’t have a clue as to who this colleague of this man is. He’s only seventeen but he’s not stupid.

‘I think I’m okay to just stay here, thank you. I will wait for it to stop raining and go home. I don’t live very far from here.’

The man smiles a little. ‘I see but I’m worried for you and it looks like the rain won’t stop for a long time still. If you don’t want the ride home, you can just wait there in the office with some of my work colleagues. It will be warm and I’ll ask them to make you something hot to drink. How about that?’

Donghyuck sighs and looks at the never-stopping rain and finally nods. He stands up on his wobbly legs and the elder man follows. Without another word, the office worker presses his key card to the reader and opens the door leading them both inside the building. It’s warmer as soon as they enter and Donghyuck’s shoulders begin to relax a bit.

The man walks before him and leads him up some stairs then to an elevator. Some people walking by give them curious looks or say polite greetings to the older man while Donghyuck stays quiet and bows to them too, just in case.

They end up in a large room filled with desks with computers on them, organised in rows. A typical office. He is given a chair and told to wait for someone. The man walks away to make a phone call, telling Donghyuck that his colleague will come shortly.

The desk is neat enough. Someone who this space belongs to is organised but not overly so. Donghyuck looks around and soon finds a name tag of the employee.

Mark Lee.

His gaze stays on the name for a few seconds. It’s curious how the surname comes after the first name, the opposite of the usual way to write a name in Korea. It sounds interesting, it raises questions in the young boy’s mind but before he can think of any possible answers, there are rushed steps coming towards him, heard in the distance.

When Donghyuck turns in the direction of the sound, he sees a familiar face carrying a pile of clothes and a blanket in one arm, hugging them to his chest so they stay in place, and a cup of steaming liquid in the other hand.

It’s a beautiful sight, even more beautiful is how the other’s eyes widen at the sight of the boy sitting at his desk. Everything feels hazy, like a dream, in slow motion almost but Donghyuck can’t tear his eyes away from the handsome boy.

So, his name is Mark. Mark Lee.

‘Hi.’ Donghyuck starts in a small voice. ‘I’m sorry for the trouble... I’m sorry, I’m still basically dripping water to the carpet.’ One day he will look back on this and regret saying something so stupid but right now that’s all his foggy brain can come up with apparently.

But then his heart skips a beat when the other shakes his head slightly and lets his expression soften. ‘I hate that ugly carpet.’

At that moment, looking through his wet bangs falling into his eyes at the older boy, he understands why he felt the way he did when Mark first walked into the coffee shop. His heart felt the connection before his mind could realise what is happening.

They smile at each other like they’ve known each other for years. They smile like they have their secret inside jokes, like it’s all so normal, so easy.

‘I’ve brought you some of my clothes you can change into. I will show you where the bathroom is in a second... and here is some tea.’ He places the clothes and blanket on his own desk chair and the mug on top of the wooden desk. ‘I’m Mark Lee by the way.’

‘Thank you and I know; I saw the name tag on the desk.’ Donghyuck reaches for the clothes, shyly. ‘My name’s Lee Donghyuck.’ He offers in return and gets up, looking around for the bathroom and Mark quickly shows him the direction.

Once safe in the spacious toilet with dry clothes in his hands but still awfully wet, the absurdity of the whole situation suddenly hits him. The man who often visits his workplace, the man on whom he developed the biggest crush of his life, the man he spends unhealthy amount of time fantasising about is waiting for him to change on the other side of the door.

With his heart beating like crazy from anxiety and anticipation, he decides to stop thinking, or more like overthinking for once and finally takes off the soaking wet clothes from his body. Once completely naked, he stands there like a helpless idiot for a minute waiting for his body to naturally dry a bit since he doesn’t have a towel.

The dry white shirt belonging to Mark in his hands feels so soft. Once he puts it on, he gets a brief whiff of fabric softener and faint cologne but something about the combination drives his senses crazy.

Once changed into the new clothes, Donghyuck runs his hands through his wet, dark hair. They’re no longer dripping but they’re still very wet. Looking in the mirror, he takes a moment to notice how the white shirt is a little large for him and wonders if leaving three buttons open is not too much but then he just leaves the toilet quickly.

Mark is typing something on his computer when he arrives back at the desk. There is a comfortable-looking chair waiting for him. He sits down and Mark starts to speak without turning to look at him.

‘I’ll just send a few emails if that’s okay with you and then we can...’ when Mark finally turns to face him, tearing his eyes away from the screen, he stops and stares at the younger for a longer second, taking in the sight fully.

‘Then we can?’ Donghyuck prompts when he feels his cheeks heat up at the intense gaze.

Mark blinks and swallows visibly, as if nervous or taken aback or possibly both or something different entirely, the young boy isn’t sure. ‘Then we can leave and I take you home if that’s okay with you.’

If Donghyuck wasn’t so socially anxious or if he was bolder or had more confidence he would ask if Mark is possibly taking him to his own home because he wouldn’t mind that but then he drops his eyes to the floor in shame at thinking such thoughts.

‘That’s fine with me. I should get home soon, I suppose, my sister will be worried.’ Donghyuck picks up the navy-blue blanket and throws it around his shoulders, getting cosy, still under Mark’s curious gaze.

‘Yeah. It shouldn’t take long.’ He smiles and turns back to the bright screen.

Donghyuck pushes the chair closer to the desk so he can lean his arms on it. He watches the office worker type, that focused look on his face that the barista knows and loves but this time he has a front row view and this time it’s not creepy to stare so much and this time there are no annoying customers trying to get his attention.

The big dark eyes are more beautiful up close, the angles of the elder’s face are sharper up close too. His eyebrows have a nice shape, not so common for most Korean men and his lips are thin but so pretty.

Just so fucking pretty sitting there and fuck, Donghyuck is so gay for this man. Crushing so hard. All these emotions and all his mental health issues mixing in a dangerous combination in his head and he’s just too fucking young for all this.

But nobody cares.

He wants someone to care. He wants the boy next to him to care. Maybe. He wants...

_‘Drink your tea before it gets cold.’ It sounds soft. He swears, the personality of the man before him is all cloud-like angles and a cotton candy heart._

_Donghyuck tilts his head to the side in curiosity, wondering why is it so incredibly easy to fall in love. ‘You’re right.’ He reaches for the hot drink, finally shifting his eyes from the boy._

_He carefully takes a sip. Then another and another. He’s aware of the other staring at the side of his face; the situation from seconds ago flipped over now._

_Under an intense gaze of someone you value so much, a stranger yet someone you want to be the best version of yourself for, even such a simple action becomes an almost impossible task. Donghyuck puts the mug down carefully again, when his hands begin to tremble without his control. It’s nothing new, he’s lived with it all his life; he knows all the buttons, all the functions of the machine he’s been equipped with called social anxiety._

_‘It’s nice. Just what my body needed.’ The younger smiles politely._

_‘I can’t cook much but I can make a decent tea.’_

_Donghyuck can’t help his stupid mouth. ‘Don’t worry, I can cook for us.’_

_The confusion painting itself on Mark’s lovely features is like watching the sunset. So common, so natural but still captivating. It’s clear the older is looking for an explanation, for an apology too, perhaps, something, but Donghyuck doesn’t give him anything. Why should he apologize? And how should he explain that in his head they might soon be married?_

_Luckily, another office worker comes up to them then and explains that they might go now. Even the boss of the company left already and the rest of the work can wait for tomorrow. She’s probably just feeling sorry for Donghyuck but it’s still a nice gesture._

_Mark blinks and nods his head. By the way he speaks to the lady, the abundance of honorifics he uses, the tanned boy guesses she’s higher in the hierarchy than Mark._

‘Donghyuck?’ He turns to look at Mark, still in the middle of writing some incredibly important email.

He wishes he could be that email. He wishes Mark would stare at him the way he stares at the screen. Under Mark’s quick, slender fingers typing on the keyboard, Donghyuck would be perfect. He would construct him carefully from scratch, reconstruct the worst parts again, and again until they’re what they should be. Something Mark could be proud of.

‘Yes?’

‘Are you bored? You were staring into space.’ Mark asks lightly, a tiny hint of amusement in his voice. ‘What were you thinking about?’

He wonders. For a split second he actually wonders if he could tell the truth. There is something about Mark Lee that seduces him, encourages him to tell the truth. All the ugly details but then, he looks at the tiredness of the other’s face, he looks at all the other people in the close proximity, he looks at how dark it has gotten outside through the window behind Mark’s head and he decides against it.

‘Nothing much.’ White lies. Light, graceful white lies, floating in the air between them like angels. So why does his heart feel so heavy and dark?

‘I don’t believe it but I won’t make you talk if you don’t want to.’ There is understanding in his brown eyes that’s deeper than he ever saw in anyone’s eyes before and it slowly becomes clear why his heart chose this particular man.

“The people who appear on our path are not accidental, Donghyuck.” His mother has told him when she was still in his life. He misses her warm embrace so much. Suddenly, he wants nothing more than to be in her arms again, to go back to being the small child without any worries, the child with a loud mouth and a quiet mind.

‘Mark-ssi?’ The elder's eyes go a bit wider at the title or maybe it’s because of the tears in the younger’s eyes but he nods quickly. ‘Can you please take me home now? I’m so tired.’

Mark briefly looks back to that email but then he’s closing everything and switching off the computer, the screen that’s probably been shining all day from the very dawn, finally turns black. Donghyuck watches him organise some papers on the desk into a neat stack, getting up in a rush.

‘I’ll just let my supervisor know that we’ll leaving.’ Donghyuck can only nod and watch Mark’s broad back in his white shirt disappearing behind some door.

Maybe it’s stupid but he feels incredible. These feelings blooming inside his chest are unfamiliar but nice. So fucking nice.

Mark gave up on his work for him.

Before his brain has time to process it, the man in question is back. ‘Let’s go.’ He picks up his brief case with a small smile, while Donghyuck shakes off the blanket and places it on the chair he previously sat on.

He follows Mark’s fast steps, aware that some people look at them as they walk out the office. In silence they walk down some long corridors, in equal silence they ride the elevator, the brunette swiping his employee card everywhere he needs to, automatic actions, easiness that comes with time, just like Donghyuck with his coffee machine.

They finally end up outside, in the dark parking lot and only when Mark opens the passenger door for him, only when he flops tiredly onto the seat; does he realise how tired he is. He releases a long sigh and when the elder gets into the driver’s seat, he does the same.

‘Seat belt.’ Mark prompts softly as he starts the car, then fastens his own one quickly.

Donghyuck follows the order obediently. When Mark gives him a glance to make sure, when he nods, satisfied, Donghyuck kind of wants Mark to call him a good boy. He knows that won’t happen. This is reality, he’s not spending time in his mind right now but still, the thought makes his heart jump once in his chest.

‘Thank you.’ Donghyuck speaks into the silence while Mark turns on the heating in the car.

He smiles at the younger, eyes tired but still shining so brilliantly like always. ‘You’re welcome, it’s nothing.’

‘It’s not nothing. I appreciate everything you’ve done for me today. Your next large oat milk latte, not too hot is on me, Mark-ssi.’

Mark’s lips part but he doesn’t speak. Only after a moment, his eyes narrow a little at the other. ‘You remember my order?’

Donghyuck laughs shortly. He wants to say that he has it memorised, carved into his heart even, but he just shrugs his shoulders in false pretence. ‘I have good memory and you’re a regular customer.’

‘Ah. I see.’ He’s still adorably confused and it’s so cute. ‘So, where do you live?’ He changes the topic and after Donghyuck tells him his address, they finally make it from the parking lot to the main road.

This moment. Driving in the warm car, in the dark night, with Mark Lee by his side is probably the happiest the barista has been since he can remember. There is something so comforting about the silence, the faint sounds of the other cars on the road, the city lights. For once, he’s glad for the traffic. He wants to thank the drivers of Seoul for giving him few more precious minutes with Mark Lee.

‘Can I call you hyung?’ Donghyuck suddenly asks. ‘If that’s okay with you of course.’

Mark doesn’t answer straight away. ‘Yeah. I think that would be fine.’ He nods confidently. ‘I don’t see why not.’

‘Hyung...’ Donghyuck whispers to himself almost. Tries the word on his tongue as if he’s learning a new, foreign vocabulary. ‘Mark-hyung...’ He looks at the older boy when the traffic makes him stop the car and wait.

Their eyes lock for a long moment. Sudden tension replaces the easy air between them. Mark looks like him like he wants to figure him out, like he doesn’t understand the other boy. It’s as if to Mark, Donghyuck is that foreign word; that word the meaning of which he doesn’t know.

‘Donghyuck... I....’ he starts but the traffic moves again and the car behind them honking aggressively, has Mark waking up from his reverie and focusing on driving again. It leaves Donghyuck curious as to what was it that Mark didn’t get to say.

Neither of them says anything else until they park safely before the building where Donghyuck lives. The younger gathers his belongings and unfastens his seatbelt, purposely a little slowly.

A sharp intake of breath. ‘I’m getting married next week.’ Mark blurts suddenly, hurriedly.

Donghyuck freezes. He watches Mark’s hands grip the steering wheel strongly, nervously. Perhaps he hasn’t been as subtle as he thought. One glance too many, one word too many.

The younger looks at him but Mark is stubbornly looking forward, avoiding his eyes.

‘Congratulations, hyung.’ He replies softly.

Only then, Mark slowly turns to look at him curiously. It’s clear that the reply has surprised him.

‘Were you expecting something else?’ Donghyuck pretends he’s the one who’s confused. ‘Congratulations on your marriage.’ He says in the most normal voice he can master; he smiles kindly. ‘You must be happy, hyung.’ Only at the last word, his voice falters uncontrollably.

Nervousness spreads to his fingers and toes like tiny needles prickling his skin but Mark only looks at him with something new in his eyes. Some type of silent realisation.

‘I am.’ He brunette replies flatly. ‘Happy, I mean.’ He’s trying so hard to sound convincing enough.

Donghyuck knows this all too well. He’s been there before. In the doctor's office when the man keeps insisting that what he’s doing isn’t normal and he really should try some anti-depressants. “I am. Happy, I mean.”

‘Then I’m happy for you too.’ Donghyuck lies too. How, from total strangers seeing each other for the first time in a coffee shop, have they ended up lying to each other like this in the middle of the night? ‘If you’re perhaps looking for someone to sing at your wedding, I have a friend. He has the voice of an angel; you won’t be disappointed.’

He watches Mark’s eyebrows rise in surprise at the words. ‘Yeah... maybe. Thank you.’

‘I’m the one who’s grateful. For the ride. I really appreciate it.’ Donghyuck opens the door to get out. Cold autumn air hits his cheek. He gives the older boy once last glance. ‘Goodnight, hyung.’

‘Goodnight.’ He hears a tiny smile in the voice or maybe that’s just what he wants to hear.

When he enters his building’s front door, the car is still there but he doesn’t look back.

***

Yuna is sleeping on the sofa when he enters the living room. He’s glad.

He knows he can sneak past her without waking her, so as quietly as he can, Donghyuck gets to the bathroom and prepares to take a shower. Maybe there is a way to avoid telling his sister the truth of today’s events.

Once the water in the shower runs hot, he slowly strips the white shirt, then the black pants looking in the mirror, he decides he doesn’t look that bad considering all he went through today. His hair is dry now and slightly wild, dark circles under his eyes but other than that it’s fine.

He looks at his naked, adolescent body in the mirror for a long moment. How could he be so naïve to assume that Mark Lee could ever think of him more than of a child? The lithe body in the mirror doesn’t reflect the maturity of his mind and people judge by what they see on the outside.

For a moment he thought Mark could see something beyond it, something deeper but now looking at his pitiful form like this makes it all seem so stupid.

‘You’re so fucked up, Donghyuck. You truly are fucking insane.’ He leans against the cold mirror with his skinny forearms and laughs at himself.

In the shower, he closes his eyes and all he can see in his head, is a boy older than him with black hair, almost black eyes, thin lips and he knows that that face will either haunt him or delight him in his sleep tonight. He really hopes it’s the latter.

He runs into Yuna as he exits the bathroom. The apple scent of his body wash lingering on his skin meets with the fruity red wine scent of his sister’s breath.

‘Donghyuck. I was worried. Where the hell have you been all this time?’ She seems equally worried as annoyed.

‘Noona, I’ve been home for some time now. You were asleep when I came, so I didn’t want to wake you.’ He sends her a warm smile. ‘How was your evening?’

She scrunches her eyebrows, swaying a little in the doorway. ‘But it was already eleven in the evening when I looked at the clock last time and you weren’t home yet and now is eleven-thirty...’ She’s so dazed.

He sighs and rolls his eyes. ‘Impossible. You must have looked at the clock wrong again, noona.’ She still looks confused but it’s clear she’s not intending to argue with him any longer.

‘Right, maybe...’ Yuna runs a hand through her long hair. ‘Are you hungry? Should I make some food?’ It’s sweet how she tries, it really is.

For some reason the only time Donghyuck starts to really regret all the lies he tells his sister and begins to really appreciate that she’s still here with him, is when she asks him if he’s hungry.

“It’s not my body that’s hungry, noona. It’s not my stomach that’s starving. It’s my soul.” He wants to tell her but the words get stuck in his throat, not for the first time.

Before tears pool in his eyes, he embraces her in a tight hug. She’s taken aback. Donghyuck rarely hugs her but she puts her arms around him too and leans her weight on him, a small sigh leaving her lips. He kisses her hair lightly. Sometimes he really wants to tell her. Tell her everything but the lies, the hidden truths are better for her.

It’s better if Donghyuck keeps his chaos in his own head.

‘I’m fine. I had lunch at work.’ He replies when they separate. ‘It’s late, we both should go to sleep soon.’

She nods. She lets him go after they say their short goodnights.

Every time. Every single evening there is something in her eyes that makes Donghyuck think she won’t be there in the morning. Some distant nostalgia, some quiet longing for a life far, far from here. Yet somehow, she’s there every morning, trying her best again, sober again and her eyes are so painfully blank.

***

Next morning Donghyuck wakes before his alarm. It’s still grey outside and his eyes land on the pile of clothes by his bed. The damned white shirt and black pants, the only reminder that yesterday wasn’t just a dream.

Within seconds, in his mind he can see not one but two piles of similar clothing.

_‘I can’t believe you did this.’ Mark breathes close to his ear and it sends shivers down his spine._

_Donghyuck’s only answer is a giggle, followed by a small whimper when the older boy kisses then bites his exposed neck._

_‘To actually go so far as to get a job at my company just to see me more.’ Mark stops what he’s doing to look the younger in the face. Dark eyes seem to stare into his soul and he loves it. ‘You’re obsessed with me, aren’t you?’ Donghyuck only gives him a sly smile in reply._

_‘Me? Obsessed?’ He laughs shortly. ‘You have me completely naked, pinned down to your bed, determined to mark every part of my body with hickeys. Who’s the one who’s obsessed, huh?’_

_Mark brings his right hand to trace the shape of Donghyuck’s lips with his index finger. ‘How can someone so pretty be this bad?’_

_Donghyuck pouts, putting on his best innocent face on. ‘Bad? I’m an angel though. So good, so pure...’_

_Mark shakes his head and kisses him passionately then, knocking the words out of his mouth. He pulls away suddenly. ‘You’re such a liar, Donghyuck. You’re a little devil, you make me do bad things.’ In contrast with everything he says, Mark intertwines their hands and leans down to peck Donghyuck’s lips lightly like a feather, again._

_‘You know what’s not a lie though?’ When Mark looks at him expectantly, he smiles sincerely and whispers. ‘I love you, Mark Lee.’_

_‘I love you, too. You’ll always be the only one, you know that.’_

_The meaning behind the words makes the younger tear up for two different reasons._

_He turns his head to the side to hide his expression. On top of the white bedsheets, their hands are resting, still intertwined, the gold wedding ring on Mark’s middle finger looks like a tiny sun as it reflects the early morning light creeping into the bedroom._

The young barista nearly dies of a heart attack when his alarm suddenly rings, waking him from his fantasy. He lazily sits up on the bed and turns it off. When the annoying sound is gone, he falls back down on his bed, staring blankly at the ceiling for a long, long time.

He smiles.

**Author's Note:**

> So, I hope you understand the message of this fic,  
and I hope you enjoyed! I struggled with this kind of   
issues before and if there are others too, I know how you feel.  
Writing helps me a lot, especially with depression and  
social anxiety, so this is why I write :)


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